it's raining men

While this on the surface may seem like a vain post it is meant to represent a larger issue. I asked Mari who was in Senegal last semester what she liked the most and liked the least about Senegal. Her response was that she loved being a part of a Senegalese family. They completely include you in their family and you become their daughter. I have found this to be absolutely true. What she liked the least is something I also encounter all the time, Mari said that she disliked the men. Yes, Mari is a Mount Holyoke student and while that may merit a little skepticism in her comments, I can attest that it is very difficult to be a female in Senegal and even harder if you’re white.

One of my professors once told us that he thinks Senegalese men are the most macho in the world. I can see his point, it is as if men think they are entitled to interrupting whatever a woman is doing to convince her to marry him, buy his goods, call him, give him money, etc. And when that woman says no, he doesn’t stop but follows her, continues to talk, or hands her his number. On the surface this may seem like a minor problem in my life here but when I encounter stares everywhere I go, get harassed the moment I step outside of the house, or are followed when I walk, the frustration builds up. I have yet to explode; instead, I am trying the joking method. This method is simple, when a man approaches me and asks me questions I answer them very directly and then when he goes in for the kill, “ are you married?” I say I have 10 husbands in the US. This usually stops the conversation and he gets the point and walks away. Sometimes my joking backfires like when a man downtown tried to sell me a necklace. I told him I didn’t have any money but I would trade him the necklace for the five oranges I was carrying. He was not pleased with that snide remark at all and continued to go on and on about the beauty of the necklace. This continued even while I walked away, he followed me until I went into a bakery. What’s difficult is that I don’t have the Wolof language skills to fight off most of these men nor is it acceptable for me to curse them out. The situation is delicate. It’s also hard because I want to trust people and feel like people are being nice just to be nice instead of trying to escape from their miserable conditions. I think both sides are understandable. I want to be left alone and they want to escape poverty and underdevelopment. White women are valued as a source of escape. I am seen as a way out, it doesn’t matter where I am from, what I look like, or if I am kind. All that matters is my skin color and the fact that I have a passport. There are also many instances of colonial backlash, which for hundreds of years disvalued Africans, and jammed into their heads that white equals superior and beautiful. From talking to many Senegalese students in my class, these thoughts still linger in the psyche of many Africans. It’s one of the many horrible consequences of colonialism.

To give another example of what recently happened and made me feel powerless and violated was the following. I was visiting a friend in downtown Dakar. We were sitting around the house and in typical Senegalses fashion a constant stream of people came in and out the houses to hang out or just say hello (it’s really nice). In Senegalese culture when you enter a room you must greet and shake everyone’s hand. This man entered the room and greeted everyone. When he got to me he gave me a “hand tickle”. While this sounds benign, it is actually quite disgusting and has many sexual connotations. A hand tickle is a light scratch on the inside of the palm. It is used to indicate that you have a strong interest in the person and you want to be alone with them. It is usually just done between couples and is looked at as very forward if done with someone you don’t know. To me it was as if he was trying to intimidate me. I felt quite vulnerable and violated. I told my friend who promptly asked the man to leave.

To put a humorous spin on this uncomfortable situation I have decided to keep all the numbers I am given from the random men in the street. I started this initiative a week ago and so far I have four numbers in my collection.